Daylight Saving Time Is Stupid And That Is My Final Word On The Subject.

I woke up today thinking it was Monday, and eventually realized it was Sunday. There is almost no better feeling in the world than that, am I right? I also woke up thinking it was 6:30am, but it was really 7:30. Which just goes to show you, life is full of exciting twists and turns. Way to keep me on my toes, universe!

That said, I would like to suggest that we abolish this daylight saving time nonsense once and for all. I am not sure why we can’t just face the fact that it’s stupid and disruptive to our circadian rhythms. If you are not familiar with the importance of circadian rhythms, I suggest you read up on the subject. It’s interesting. And for some information on how daylight saving time affects your body, read this article on Bustle. It’s pretty good.

A former co-worker of mine once suggested a very good idea – he said we should just split the difference, set the clocks ahead by a half hour and call it a day. Forever. I always thought that was the best plan until it occurred to me that actually, we don’t have to do anything at all. Just stop. No changing clocks. No springing ahead and falling back. No babies waking up at 4am for a solid week because their bodies know better than the clock on the microwave. No more realizing that you still haven’t changed the clock in your car, only to follow that up with the realization that you still don’t remember how to change it anyway so you’ll have to put it off until another day.

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This is an image that came up when I searched for “daylight saving.” So at this point I’m pretty sure they’re just fucking with me.

Believe me when I say I know a lot of us like the extra hour of daylight in the summer. When I was in my twenties, I actually celebrated the beginning of daylight savings time as a holiday. I’d draw hearts and balloons and little fireworks on that page in my datebook. I don’t do that anymore. I am a much happier person now that I have embraced the darkness as well as the light. Also, sometimes I want to go to bed at 8:30 but I feel like an idiot when it is broad daylight outside. And another also: there might not even be a good reason for it anymore. Read this article on Time to see what I mean.

If you ask me, which not one living human being has, we should really just wrap this up. Stop the madness. Let 2017 be the year that we say, NO MORE! Put an end to our reign as arrogant humans who think they can actually alter the passage of time. I don’t know how to go about getting this changed, but I am pretty sure this blog post isn’t going to do it. Let’s write to our congressmen. Start petitions. At the very least, complain about it until people want to quit talking to you because you’re very annoying.

If you don’t feel like doing any of that, then instead read Spring Forward, Fall Into Perpetual Darkness, by Sarah Hutto, on McSweeney’s. It is the funniest thing I’ve read since returning to Eastern Standard Time.

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